Friday, 13 November 2009

How not to write an action epic disaster dystopia

I love dystopia. I really do. Several of my books are based on it. Okay maybe "dystopia" and "apocalypse disaster" qualify as separate genres, but this is just a very quick blog to say why you should not pay money to see 2012 the film.

I've seen the trailer. It looks terrible. It looks like how describes it here:

By sticking to a rigid formula - five or six intercut story lines, estranged husband emerges to save the day, and some vague nonsense about "love conquering all" - Emmerich has become one of Hollywood's most reliable cash-cows.

This will be a terrible film. It will be terrible because the plot will be awful. It will be terrible because it will have a perfect, meant-to-be ending with Big Meaningful Music to accompany it. It will be terrible because any historical basis it rests upon will be hacked and abused beyond recognition. But it will mostly be terrible because his other films, which the trailer resembles so perfectly, were also terrible.

I quote from the review page comments section:

Hamish: ...If you did enjoy Independence Day, Day After Tomorrow and Godzilla, this film is for you. I will definitely buy this on Blu-Ray when it comes out.

Independence Day? The film where the dog jumps to safety just at the last second, and where Will Smith beats up an alien with his bare fists? Godzilla? The film where Godzilla managed to trick the helicopters by hiding in a skyscraper, and then tricked the submarines' torpedoes by making them hit the submarines that fired them? These films were terrible! They were fucking awful! I was 15 when I saw Godzilla I still thought it was awful.

There is an old old saying "Don't judge a book by its cover", but you know what, sometimes you can judge a film by its trailer.

I could be wrong. This film could be genius. It could be brilliant. If it is, come and tell me, by all means, write in caps lock on my blog or facebook.

But seriously. What are the chances it is?

I have two comparisons. One is the Clash Of The Titans remake - while I thought it was going to be awful and butcher the legend of Perseus, the trailer actually looks damn awesome:

AND guess what? The music has been done by Matt Bellamy from Muse. You can hear it in the trailer!

My second example is simply that of District 9. If you didn't get a chance to see it at the cinema, find a way to see it. This is a brilliant, gripping, credible sci-fi film, and made for just USD$30m I bet it's ten times the film 2012 will be.

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