Monday, 28 December 2009

2010: expect more/big stuff

...and after that brief retrospective, now is the time I promise ridiculous amounts of creative things which I almost certainly will not achieve all of. But you have to aim high to get the best of yourself! Coming from Jez Kemp in 2010:

-An acoustic EP recorded with Matt Langley of The Library Suits - this really will be acoustic music (unlike Without Fear), but recorded with real professional equipment!

-The debut ACOUSTIC WARRIOR EP - 4 tracks of dance music made entirely from acoustic guitar sounds

-An EP about Britain, featuring some new tracks but also my UK open mic smash hit "Paedophile Immigrants Selling Drugs To Our Kids"

-Badly-photoshopped oceanic fairy tales starring Jimmy The Dolphin and a host of other creatures who live in Underwater Disco Village

-Several short stories, including the cheeky and humorous The God Market, more tales of time travel in the South Pacific and the superhero adventures of Jesus And The All-Stars

-The second Jez Kemp album with cracking songs (such as "I Brought Down The Average" and live favourites "I Believe In Dinosaurs" and "Sunshine") featuring real guitar/bass, programmed drums and orchestral backing!

-One or possibly even TWO full-length novels (well, 60,000 words) of sci-fi/fantasy/comedy gold.

I also have a higher priority of finding a full-time job. So completing all of these things is raaaaaaather unlikely - but they're all in the hectic pipeline that is my head. Gotta set the bar high :)

Here's to a new year, take it easy kids.

2009 round-up

Well that's another year. Still time for something to go horribly wrong (or, I suppose, amazingly right) but here's a quick summary of my year:

-Temping. Take my advice, don't leave your cushy council job when the global economy goes into meltdown.
-Girlfriend. Met an amazing kiwi girl, AND managed to go out with her, AND still together 11 months on. More than makes up for the first point.
-I have written 2 books, finishing my trilogy - satisfaction ahoy.
-I have written and recorded my debut album with just an acoustic guitar, my laptop and some sticky-backed plastic - more satisfaction ahoy.

And yeah other than that just settled into New Zealand life. It's pretty great bro.

Just a quick thanks to all you guys for putting up with my spam about books and music, I know I've been pumping out a lot of it the last few months :)

Hope you all had a great Christmas or whatever celebration you do/don't have, and have fun bringing in the new year. I'll be on a kiwi beach!


Thursday, 24 December 2009

Happy kiwi Christmas

It's summer, it's hot and it's Christmas, and despite being a paid-up atheist I'm quite happy about enjoying a celebration and wishing good times to others. So whether it's summer or winter and Christmas or yuletide or Saturnalius or none of the above, have a good time, get drunk (unless you're driving!) and stay well.

Sunday, 20 December 2009

The Evolution-Hitler myth - let's explode it once and for all

A frequent argument against evolution by creationists is that it's a pre-text for Hitler's racial policies and ethnic cleansing - the idea that you could "improve" the human race through selective breeding. This bizarre argument comes up more frequently than you might think, even amongst well-known and "respected" followers of creationism ad intelligent design.

It is time to put this myth to bed once and for all with a VERY simple reasoning:

Evolution: The scientific explanantion for how life developed on Earth, how animals react and adapt to their environment, and how creatures divide into species.

Hitler: A man with evil, twisted ideas about racial "purity" who used a fascist state to commit genocide.

It's hard for me to see how anyone can confuse the two. Saying that Darwin and evolution are responsible for Hitler and the Holocaust is like saying nuclear physics are responsible for atomic weapons, so therefore nuclear physics is evil and/or not true.

Even if teaching people about evolution and natural selection encourages them to starting killing Jews and gypsies - which frankly, it doesn't - nothing changes the fact that evolution is just a non-moral, biological explanantion of how life developed.

Please share this, either on facebook/twitter/etc. or by word of mouth, and let's stop the creationists hiding behind one of the lamest arguments in the history of bad logic.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Listen to my album on

I was updating some of my internet web stuff for my new album and was amazed to find I have been paid by the website Paid a whole 1 penny!

Obviously it's not something I can retire on, but I would urge you all to check out my page and hear the album in full there:

With any luck I might triple my earnings at the next quarter :)

Monday, 14 December 2009

Dear Silvio Berlucsoni

Dear Mr. Berlusconi,

As a human being and a citizen, you have a right not to be smacked in the face.

As an oppressive media dictator and arrogant right-wing gazillionaire, however, it is extremely satisfying to see it happen.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

The Library Suits - awesome band who need your vote

I've been plugging my own stuff like crazy lately, so it's about time I plugged somebody else's.

The Library Suits are a great indie-rock band from Essex with cracking songs, pumping rhythms and singalong tunes. They've brought out a mini-album, a real album, and a single with a video, more of which I'll talk about later.

Right now though, they have reached the dizzy heights of fame by appearing on the Hollyoaks Music Show. They're one of 9 bands who got the chance to appear on TV, hang out on the Hollyoaks set and compete to appear in a real episode of Hollyoaks.

So um yes VOTE FOR THEM, you can do it by clicking this link below. It only takes minute and they really deserve your vote!

Saturday, 12 December 2009

WITHOUT FEAR album out now

The album is out now - you can hear all 10 tracks on the player below and you can buy it at the following places:

People's Music Store

Alternatively you can send $5NZ or £2GBP (+P&P, ie $2NZ or £2GBP) to via Paypal and I will send you a real CD!

Many thanks to everyone for listening and supporting me during this project. I'm still blogging the individual tracks of the album so watch out for those. The 3 remaining brand new tracks from the album are #3 "Lighten Up, No Thanks", #9 "One Last Parting Shot" and #10 "The Holy Texts".

I'm off out soon into the wind and sun for my busking launch gig, wish me luck!


Band website hosting

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Without Fear Track #01 - Animals

I'm blogging each track from my debut album Without Fear, in no particular order.

Here is "Animals" on the player!


For you facebook viewers, here's the link to the youtube vid:

Along with "Lighthouses", "Animals" is one of the first tracks I wrote for my renewed solo project. It was a complete change of scene from the straightforward indie-punky-rock of F451, and I loved having a song that was cheeky and bouncy but still very me. It's remained one of my strongest songs (in my opinion) and comes out at almost every live performance - both of these are to do with the fact it's easily playable on just one acoustic guitar, unlike a few of the other album tracks. I like it and it's a great choice to open the album with.

The full title of this song was "The Animals Reject Their Names". I've since learned that basically awkward long titles don't help cool songs get noticed. But that's the gist of the song: animals rebelling, breaking out of the zoo, roaming the streets, and generally causing a ruckus. It only mentions lions and elephants by name (or sometimes tigers), but I like to thing of baboons and marmosets and wildcats and giraffes galloping and screeching and swinging from TV ariels. Just try and picture it.

By the lion enclosure, I wanna expose ya
I wanna get closer, before your life will be over
Just remember that it’s

It’s in na-na-nee-na-na
It’s in na-na-nee-na-na…

It’s inevitable, one day they’ll have us up against the wall
It’s inevitable, one day the animals reject their names

They’ve had enough today
They wanna live with their own names
They’re on the streets today

By the elephant enclosure, they’re ferocious and older
They’re angry and they remember, all the days of your slaughter
Just remember that it’s!

It’s in na-na-nee-na-na
It’s in na-na-nee-na-na…

It’s inevitable, one day they’ll have us up against the wall
It’s inevitable, one day the animals reject their names

They’ve had enough today
They wanna live with their own names
They’re on the streets today

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

No Never launch- it begins!

The book is out now! It can be purchased from

Right now I'm in the comfy surrounds of Pit Bar, Bats Theatre. Books + cupcakes + friends + beer + music + balloons + more beer + book quotes on cute coloured cardboard cutouts = launch fun times :)

I will be tweeting on twitter at and under the tag #nonever