Thursday, 9 May 2013

You know you're in Bangkok when...

  • The warm, loving burning of DEET.

  • The cold, dead expressions of white people on Khao San Road like they're shopping at Ikea. Trying to make eye contact is like getting blood out of a stone, never mind a smile. Why so serious?

  • Fish eating dirt off your feet is entirely reasonable.

  • Everything dries really quickly - but never gets truly dry. Water on your shirt is gone in 15mins. The dry piece of paper in your pocket, soggy in 5.

  • Water heaters in the showers ... and people are actually using them. It's 35 degrees in the daytime, 30 degrees at night, and travellers every day are in the shower screaming "It's not enough!!!"

  • All the animals still have their testicles. Well okay, the ones that were born with some...

  • Toothpaste comes in a choice of lemon whitening or herbal whitening.

  • You double your water intake. And it's still not enough. It's never enough.

  • The heat makes you lose your appetite. But the lure of delicious Thai food will ensure you go home fat.

  • You lose grip of what anything costs. Newcomers constantly stare up at the sky thinking, "Okay, so if it's 45 Baht to the Pound, that means..." After 2 weeks, the Thai costs finally come naturally, and backpackers haggle angrily over the difference of 20p.

  • Signs in the hostel toilets not to put toilet paper in the toilet. Toilet paper blocks up pipes in Asia - there is a bin to put your used tissue. Sounds gross, but would you prefer a blocked up toilet?

  • Signs in the hostel toilets not to stand on the sit-down toilet. Every couple of days you see dirty footprints on the toilet seat, usually from other Asians who are used to squat toilets and think it's disgusting to put your naked bum where other people put theirs too.

  • You're grateful for mild diahorrea. I caught a bug travelling in Asia that utterly destroyed me for 60hrs. So, last week's mild case of feeling crappy for 2 days could have been much, much worse. Also I was still able to see friends and go places thanks to travel drugs - huzzah for drugs!

1 comment:

  1. "Fish eating dirt off your feet is entirely reasonable."

    That was reasonable here for a few months - places popped up everywhere that did it, and then they all closed down when everyone freaked out they might spread disease.

    Hoop Takraw looks AWESOME.