Monday, 13 January 2014

The Melbourne heatwave, and moaning about moaning about weather

I hear this so often, I put it on a T-shirt.
This week's coming heatwave (35, 39, 40, 41 degrees etc.) will mark a new phase in the Jez Kemp weather moaning/weather moaners-moaning saga.

In Wellington I moaned about the weather, then I hardened up and moaned about anyone daring to moan about the weather, which is almost the same thing really.

In May last year I made a big deal about Looking Like A Local and wore trousers in 38 degrees. Then in November I made a big deal about travellers thinking 28 degrees was hot, while all the Thais were wearing jeans*. It's still like weather moaning, but in reverse, or meta, or something.

So this week: Will I be moaning about the heat,
the sweat, and how it's impossible to sleep at night?

Or will I be moaning about the locals moaning about the weather? People who've been through this dozens of times before, but will swear blind that "it's not normally like this"?

Local rag The Age has already used the phrase "the Xest X since X", which is like weather-moaning foreplay, regardless of the country or season**. People are now authorised to moan about the weather, because it's the Xest X since X, even if 40 degrees feels very much the same as 35.

Maybe it'll make me nostalgic for Wellington weather. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh the lolz.

* I stand by my conclusions that "hot" and "cold" are entirely relative, when in the same room you have tourists wearing shorts because it's hot, and locals/ex-pats wearing jeans because it's cold.

** See the Polar Blast Of New Zealand August 2011, when Wellingtonians climbed over each other to take photos of snow from their office windows like Africans who'd never seen the stuff. Wellington is 4hrs drive from the skifields of Mount Ruapehu.

1 comment:

  1. What? You mean it's not going to get up to 44 degrees?