Thursday, 5 June 2014

Lego to launch Shameless Token Gesture to distract from Vast Gendered Product Empire

Lego is taking one tiny, pathetic step forward with a brand new Shameless Token Gesture, in order to boldly distract the public from their massive range of products promoting negative gender stereotypes.

The Gesture, codenamed "Research Institute", features 3 women shockingly portrayed as real people with interesting jobs, unlike the rest of Lego's extensive empire.

"This is a great day for Lego, I mean women," said a Lego marketing statement, probably written by a man. "We asked people to submit ideas for a Token Gesture we could show to the world's media, and Ellen Kooijman’s "Research Institute" concept was totally inspiring. It gives us a cost-effective media strategy to distract people from the proud Lego message that action, science, space, dinosaurs, lasers, jobs, enjoyment and fun are for boys, and fashion, haircuts and pink are for girls.

"Lego is at the forefront of big business exploiting parents' fear over gender roles and their kids - and this Shameless Token Gesture allows us to continue doing so."

Ellen Kooijman, a geochemist from Sweden, designed the kit. "As a female scientist I had noticed two things about the available Lego sets: there are hardly any women at all, and women are consistently portrayed as superficial, vain and useless," she wrote in a blog post last year, shortly after the project hit its 10,000-supporter goal. "It seemed logical that Lego would exploit my suggestion of female minifigures in interesting professions to distract from how awful their product range is for girls."

Lego Ideas is a site where enthusiasts can submit and vote for Token Gestures they want to see available in toy stores. When a Gesture receives 10,000 votes, it then enters a review phase to be evaluated by a board of marketing representatives and communications executives.

After testing the concepts for brand impact, profitability, and free advertising in media attention, the board selects one idea to become the next Lego Ideas Token Gesture.

"Research Institute" beat out Gestures like Sherlock, Adventure Time, Legend of Zelda and more, all of which will become profitable product sets anyway.

"We thank all the Lego Ideas contributors for coming up with new ideas so that we don't have to, and doing our market research for absolutely no cost whatsoever," the Lego statement continued. "However, the winning Gesture clearly had to have a message, a sense of tokenism we could fully employ to pretend we think women are people, or whatever."

Spineless parents who only choose products which reinforce negative gender stereotypes, e.g. that women belong in the hair salon while men do important jobs and have adventures, were reassured not to take the Token Gesture seriously, and to please continue buying needlessly-gendered products to prevent their boys growing up gay and their girls developing an imagination.

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